1.09.2008

slipped.

My Christmas wasn't what I had expected. I guess I never really estimated how much my parents getting a divorce would do to me. I thought I was stronger than I really am. But things have been a downward spiral since I lost my job at Pitt... and bottling all of my emotions up mixed with my anxiety made me snap.

So on Christmas night I did what I have been thinking about doing for years. And overdosed. I called my friend Nick after I did it, and to be honest I dont even remember it. I can only believe God wanted me to live. Because Nick called my cousin Amanda, who then rushed to my house with my Aunt and took me to Mercy Hospital. I spent three days there, and now I have two weeks of intensive outpatient group therapy. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, now having to take the anti-depressant Celexa every day. I hate my group therapy. It is awful, restoring my faith has been much better for me. I spend every sunday with my church and it feels good to have faith.

I miss my mom. Shes breaking my heart every day, but I am learning I cannot control what she does even if she is ruining her life. I will continue to be here for my family, despite how incredibly hard it is. Jesus will help me through this.


Grandpa, I just want you to know you are in my prayers.

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