7.30.2006

girls just wanna have fun

scratch that.

ive spent the past two nights with that boy.
and im smitten.
and hes a good kisser.
and im so giddy.
:p

7.28.2006

$$$

Meh. i finally scheduled my classes. great, right? no. i, doing this school thing all on my own, have to come up with 30% of my tuition by August 2nd. My financial aid wont be processed by then. I can come up with about 2/3 of said 30%. I could either be screwed, and lose my classes, or suck up my pride and ask to borrow it from my Aunt (whos been helping with all of my financial aid && fafsa) for a loan. Then id have to bust some serious ass giant eagle style to pay her back until i get my aid. Then i will be reimbursed from the school.

i have to keep reminding myself that this will all be worth it in 10 years when i wont have to work at a grocery store anymore. until then, ive got a long journey ahead of me.

in other news, much better and enjoyable news..

There is a boy at work, Alan. He always has a big cute smile on his face, and i love it. Hes tall, 24, graduated from my highschool, and so DAMN nice i cant even stand it. We have already been "scolded" twice for talking to much. Managers can call it talking, everyone else at work is calling it flirting. I love it ;) He asked me to come to the bar where he DJ's tonight. I told him id try, leaving a little suspence his way, but knew i wanted to soooo bad! Sadly ,im being a loner and sitting at home on my computer on a friday night because the whole 2 friends that i have who are of age, wont answer my calls. My friends are awesome.... not.

So, no cute boy tonight. OR bar shenanigans. Just.. sitting around watching Serendipity wondering if im going to get through the financial part of school.



Peace out. :/

7.25.2006

People make me sick..

My brother Ken and myself have always been pretty close. Hes a sweet kid when it comes down to it. We both share a huge love for music. I have a passion for booking tours, promoting bands, putting on shows. He the musician, self taught the bass for the past 4 years. We always say that once he started something up, he would be set because ive been working in the business ever since i was in LadyFox Productions 3 years ago. Playing bass became his life, even working his graduation project around it. He was getting a band together and left his equipment (his bass, his amp, and microphone) over his friends house where said band practiced. Well.. last night someone stole his bass and amp. One of the few times ive ever seen my brother cry so hard. As soon as my mom told me i started crying too, mostly because i know how much that bass meant to him. He cried himself to sleep. My 18 year old brother cried himself to sleep ; and that breaks my heart.

Whenever things like this happen, it makes me sick to my stomache. It makes me want to homeschool my kids and keep them sheltered away from all of the bad people out in the world. It almost makes me crazy because i start wishing we lived in a bubble and no one could harm us. The small suburb i live in, is anything but ideal. Its a bad place. really.. Its turning into a slum of drugs and rape. The more i think about it the more i hate living here. Brentwood "used" to be a quiet family oriented safe community. My sister Chelsea still has 3 years left in that highschool, but i think we should move. Bleh.

situations, situations...


If i did not have school tuition & expensive books to pay for, i would help my brother get a new bass. All i can offer him is a job where i work. Which, in the meantime, would be something good for him because it will keep him busy , and also help him save for a new one. I just hope everything works itself out.

7.24.2006

It never really gets any easier having to watch someone get over you so quickly. Or.. replace you with no second thought.

I always get like this after i watch a movie with a cute happy ending, or finish a book of the same nature. Then of course i get bitter towards everyone who seems to be happy, but such is life. More important that feeling rejected because im apparantly so damn easy to get over, i am very relieved and glad that im home from my trip. A trip full of ups & downs, strikes & gutterballs. Spending time with my grandpa was great. Uncle Joe and Aunt Stephanie saved us from popcan hell for 3 of the 5 nights. Now if only we could have left my cousin Sam back at my Grandpas house, it would have been the ultimate. Beggers cant be choosers my mom always says. I cant wait until i get my license so i can go and visit Uncle Joe, Aunt Stephanie, and Jamie more often. I wish they lived closer.

im exhuasted. and full prepared to sleep in my bed for the first time in 2 weeks.
ciao, loves